I am certainly no doctor but I have often put two and two together to make certain medical wonderings about the cause of my daughter's autism. First, I was pregnant at 38 years old. I was an older mom. Then, at about 7 weeks, I was bleeding and had to have a vaginal ultrasound. I learned at that time that my placenta had a small hole in it causing the bleeding. Then, my little girl came two weeks early - and she was just under 7 pounds. Small and dainty was she. Third, my placenta was not simply falling out after her birth. It was EMBEDDED. I don't even want to explain what happened because of this - too graphic for a public blog! So with all of these happenings, I wonder... did all of these things lead to a brain deprived girl then causing autism?
God knows and I won't until I see Him face to face. But until, then I have to not ask , "Why? "and "How come? " but more Wow, isn't the brain amazing! We all have one but each one functions differently. Sometimes I wonder, does her brain look different than mine? I also think, my brain in many ways works just like hers.
Comparing my mind to my daughters there is similar travel trail millions of miles long. At 3:00 am I am up thinking about the time I wasted watching 48 hours and that story was so scary don't trust anyone. Pardon me for the following William Tell Overture run on sentence, but my brain then speeds up to how I need to figure out how to put fabric over a light switch, to sending my son to this school or that one, and that flower stand may look better over by the fence or by the side of the house, to deciding how long to grow my hair before I get it "shaped", to why didn't that paint come off the driveway, to recalling the time a college professor said he was praying for me because he thought I was dying of a brain tumor.... to .... a never stopping chain of thought.
My daughter wakes up and her mind travels for many more miles. "I am just very cozy in this bed. Oh Mommy you are so beautiful. Hey Mommy would you like to play princesses or would you like to read books. You know Mommy, I was thinking that we could make some special cards and I could give them to some of my friends. Is Lucy going to school today? Can I wear my flower shirt. Oh, look Mommy Chippy Chipmunk is running through the woods! Well, I better find my list I need to make my list to go the grocery store today. Hey! Don't sit on my kitty!"
If you knew all the schema strengthened by stories, experiences, and learning, you would know that she is making connections, applying her learning and relay her new ideas. You could follow all of that easily. Being her mom I know most everything about her schema. I do a fairly good job of keeping up and following her thoughts. Her therapist would remind me that her Motor planning is a continuous challenge. Motor planning is the ability to execute a plan. It's the" stick-to- it-ness" needed to focus on and complete a task. So much stimulation gets in the way. The sights, sounds, and textures send her zipping along in thought. Her ideas go racing along and she isn't able to stick to one idea and do something with it.
If you knew all the schema I have strengthened by stories, experiences and learning you would know that I too am making connections, applying my learning, and relaying new ideas. You do have to keep up with me though thus frustrating my husband when having a conversation. At times, I lack the "stick -to- it -ness "needed to actually complete an idea and resolve something. My completion if any is pretty spontaneous. What of my motor planning skills? I guess right now I can try the old write everything down on a pad of paper thing in the middle of the night so that I can go back to sleep.
What about typical kids? Let me share that I can recall many times as a teacher standing in front of the class and beginning a lesson maybe first with a story. Picture me sitting in front of my class ready to read Make Way for the Ducklings. I do the usual introduction of the story and then pose a "activation of knowledge" question and say "Has anyone seen a family of baby ducks before?" Nearly every hand goes up.
First kid picked says- "Yes, I have at the zoo and we fed them bread crumbs." Second kid picked says "We went to the zoo too and we saw the tigers. They were in a glass cage." Third kid picked says "I cut my finger right here on glass and I think I still need a band aide." Fourth kid picked says "I will take him to the office. " Fifth kid picked says "I need to go to the bathroom" Sixth kid hasn't been picked and they say " Tomorrow is my mom's birthday" and another kid shouts out- "Will you tie my shoes?" and another.....It is hysterical but also sobering to realize a fact- wandering is what minds do.
My daughter's mind, my mind, another kid's mind- In my mind there are a lot of similarities. Pretty mind boggling if you ask me.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Video Modelling and Living vicariously through Children's Book Characters
For me, I held many characters dear from the first lap reading. Sam- I- am was the perfect salesman. Jane was so cute and spoke so clearly to her brother Dick. Her simple messages were about all I could comprehend. She had the nicest dresses, ruffled socks, and shiny black shoes. Christine was a girl created by Carolyn Haywood. (She's also out of print and an unknown.) Yet, I will never forget all the adventures she had in Mrs. Wilkins class along with her rabbit Cupcake. Christy was polite, obedient, and loved to learn. Ramona was imaginative and fun. I felt what she felt. I too wanted to pull on the boing boing curls of Suzie "whats her name". ( even though I had Suzie whats her name's hair in real life) I too wanted to be pretty in a pink frilly dress. But I too was simply too awkward. Then along came Anne of Green Gables. She was smart, descriptive, and everything I wanted to be. She even wrote stories that were totally just like mine - works of art. Laura Ingalls had the spunk to take on any challenge. She was inventive and smart. The small things were her special treasures. Laura appreciated her shiny new pennies and her silver tin cup. She loved her crisply ironed dress for Sunday.
Somehow I felt validated through these characters. They taught me to be just as I was. Because that is what they were- uniquely them. Many were more out of the box then some and the world simply had to acclimate and appreciate them. These were my "character want to bes" and I sometimes I lived as though I were them! It was the practice of any young kid establishing an identity. In our work of pretending, we knew exactly what to do and what to say. Our play was enriched through these characters.
Children's literature characters are once again held with endearment at my house by some new fans. They pretend to be these characters naturally because they have found themselves in these characters. They can put themselves into new scenes and create different play schemes. "You be and I'll be" is the frequent instruction at play time. These characters are the special "coaches" of play that have sunk into my kids' world.
For my two children and particularly my autistic child, they have come to know these characters through video stories. The video stories are exactly as written in a hard copy book. The illustrations are exactly as they were created but they come to life through movement. I have concluded that the characters have served as models for both children and particularly by spectrum kid. This kind of video modelling has had its advantages. Real Video Modelling involves real children acting out social situations to equip the child who struggles socially and with play. I have never used such modelling with my daughter. But through story videos she has learned the same skills and maybe more from story characters.
As a teacher that I do hesitate to introduce these characters through video first. I shutter in the fact that the only way my daughter gets hooked is through a video story first. I do long for her to get it and become "friends" with someone through a read aloud first. Yet, the video experience has nurtured her beginning reading some. She now has the stories nearly memorized and will match text with pictures. With story scripts embedded in her brain, she can use them throughout the day in various contexts. For now, this is how it is. We can work on the form and order of story introduction. Right now I choose to focus on the advantages of this type of Video Modelling.
From Kevin Henkes 'Chrysanthemum, my daughter has taken pride in her own name. She saw Chrysanthemum search for self assurance as we all do at one point and has labeled her name "Absolutely Perfect" This is what both Chrysanthemum and my daughter are- absolutely perfect. Chrysanthemum was shy and timid and well loved. So is my daughter. She had her special dresses for her moods. Her sunniest dress for her first day of school and her pocket dress to carry all of her good luck charms. My daughter chooses the right day to wear her twirly polka dot dress for those happy dancing days and the day to wear her squeezey shirt to give her extra tight hold when she feels anxious. Chrysanthemum, Chrysanthemum, thanks to Chrysanthemum my daughter gained some self assurance.
From Rosemary Wells's Max and Ruby stories, my daughter has learned language. She loves the word "perfect" and talks in words of "just right" to her brother "Max". She loves to instruct as the older sister- or teacher maybe. Ruby was just the right fit for my daughter. The things she played- making a clubhouse, having a camp out, setting up a lemonade stand, decorating snowflake cookies and gingerbread houses are simply wonderful. They are reminders of the good old days of childhood. Her interest was sparked and her comfort level was established. With Ruby's promotion she had new play schemes that were engaging.
Else Holemlund Minarik gave us Little Bear. I must say after reading and seeing the video of these stories, I value them more now than I ever did as a first and second grade teacher for guided reading groups. Little Bear has clear language. He is simple minded but yet imaginative. My daughter finishes a video story and wishes to make her own birthday soup- which essentially is mixing several batches of colored water together. She makes a campfire (or a pile of sticks) in the wooded patch of our backyard and roasts marshmallows. She imagines the bathtub is a place for catching fish, splashes and says"You scared away my breakfast." Her play practices are what she values from Little Bear and all of his friends.
Fairy Tales are a true security for my spectrum kid. With a slight change in the typical version, she has grown to love the James Marshall tellings. They are comical to us as well. Who can refrain from laughter when someone calls Goldilocks says "Patooey!" to the first taste of the Papa Bear's bowl of porridge. When the intro to the Three Little Pigs, is Ladies and Gentlemen.... and the pigs reply with "Well, what do you know" to the selling of straw or sticks for a house...the humor is appreciated. The pigs and Goldilocks are characters they can be confidently because their plot behaviors are simple and in perfect sequence. These tales are reenacted again and again by my kids. I see an actress for sure in the making during fairy tale play time.
Madeline sings "If you believe you must be big in order to be tough. Then you should get to know me, I'll teach you other stuff." Thanks to Ludwig Bemelmans stories on video, a new character friend has been made. Madeline is a tiny girl involved with big adventures. My daughter has high regard for her. With the help of a tiny French girl, she has big dreams and big plans. My daughter sings this Madeline song as she dances about. Somehow I wonder if she truly understands the song's message and sings it from her heart. For the most part, my kid has the same philosophy- "If you believe you must be big (typical and on par developmentally) in order to be tough ( make it in the world) Then you should get to know me I'll teach you other stuff! She's my kid, my spectrum kid, and knows she's very behind. But inside...she's tall! She's got adventures in the making. She's going places!
If we ever get around to official video modelling it will still be beneficial but a different experience. Until then, we continue storybook character modelling. I can't wait to introduce my daughter to Ramona Quimby, Laura Ingalls, Anne of Green Gables- and eventually Jane Eyre. Maybe by then it will be through a read aloud or she reads it herself. Until then she continues to live vicariously through all the children's lit friends she has known thus far and at the same time grown to know herself and her place in this world.
Somehow I felt validated through these characters. They taught me to be just as I was. Because that is what they were- uniquely them. Many were more out of the box then some and the world simply had to acclimate and appreciate them. These were my "character want to bes" and I sometimes I lived as though I were them! It was the practice of any young kid establishing an identity. In our work of pretending, we knew exactly what to do and what to say. Our play was enriched through these characters.
Children's literature characters are once again held with endearment at my house by some new fans. They pretend to be these characters naturally because they have found themselves in these characters. They can put themselves into new scenes and create different play schemes. "You be and I'll be" is the frequent instruction at play time. These characters are the special "coaches" of play that have sunk into my kids' world.
For my two children and particularly my autistic child, they have come to know these characters through video stories. The video stories are exactly as written in a hard copy book. The illustrations are exactly as they were created but they come to life through movement. I have concluded that the characters have served as models for both children and particularly by spectrum kid. This kind of video modelling has had its advantages. Real Video Modelling involves real children acting out social situations to equip the child who struggles socially and with play. I have never used such modelling with my daughter. But through story videos she has learned the same skills and maybe more from story characters.
As a teacher that I do hesitate to introduce these characters through video first. I shutter in the fact that the only way my daughter gets hooked is through a video story first. I do long for her to get it and become "friends" with someone through a read aloud first. Yet, the video experience has nurtured her beginning reading some. She now has the stories nearly memorized and will match text with pictures. With story scripts embedded in her brain, she can use them throughout the day in various contexts. For now, this is how it is. We can work on the form and order of story introduction. Right now I choose to focus on the advantages of this type of Video Modelling.
From Kevin Henkes 'Chrysanthemum, my daughter has taken pride in her own name. She saw Chrysanthemum search for self assurance as we all do at one point and has labeled her name "Absolutely Perfect" This is what both Chrysanthemum and my daughter are- absolutely perfect. Chrysanthemum was shy and timid and well loved. So is my daughter. She had her special dresses for her moods. Her sunniest dress for her first day of school and her pocket dress to carry all of her good luck charms. My daughter chooses the right day to wear her twirly polka dot dress for those happy dancing days and the day to wear her squeezey shirt to give her extra tight hold when she feels anxious. Chrysanthemum, Chrysanthemum, thanks to Chrysanthemum my daughter gained some self assurance.
From Rosemary Wells's Max and Ruby stories, my daughter has learned language. She loves the word "perfect" and talks in words of "just right" to her brother "Max". She loves to instruct as the older sister- or teacher maybe. Ruby was just the right fit for my daughter. The things she played- making a clubhouse, having a camp out, setting up a lemonade stand, decorating snowflake cookies and gingerbread houses are simply wonderful. They are reminders of the good old days of childhood. Her interest was sparked and her comfort level was established. With Ruby's promotion she had new play schemes that were engaging.
Else Holemlund Minarik gave us Little Bear. I must say after reading and seeing the video of these stories, I value them more now than I ever did as a first and second grade teacher for guided reading groups. Little Bear has clear language. He is simple minded but yet imaginative. My daughter finishes a video story and wishes to make her own birthday soup- which essentially is mixing several batches of colored water together. She makes a campfire (or a pile of sticks) in the wooded patch of our backyard and roasts marshmallows. She imagines the bathtub is a place for catching fish, splashes and says"You scared away my breakfast." Her play practices are what she values from Little Bear and all of his friends.
Fairy Tales are a true security for my spectrum kid. With a slight change in the typical version, she has grown to love the James Marshall tellings. They are comical to us as well. Who can refrain from laughter when someone calls Goldilocks says "Patooey!" to the first taste of the Papa Bear's bowl of porridge. When the intro to the Three Little Pigs, is Ladies and Gentlemen.... and the pigs reply with "Well, what do you know" to the selling of straw or sticks for a house...the humor is appreciated. The pigs and Goldilocks are characters they can be confidently because their plot behaviors are simple and in perfect sequence. These tales are reenacted again and again by my kids. I see an actress for sure in the making during fairy tale play time.
Madeline sings "If you believe you must be big in order to be tough. Then you should get to know me, I'll teach you other stuff." Thanks to Ludwig Bemelmans stories on video, a new character friend has been made. Madeline is a tiny girl involved with big adventures. My daughter has high regard for her. With the help of a tiny French girl, she has big dreams and big plans. My daughter sings this Madeline song as she dances about. Somehow I wonder if she truly understands the song's message and sings it from her heart. For the most part, my kid has the same philosophy- "If you believe you must be big (typical and on par developmentally) in order to be tough ( make it in the world) Then you should get to know me I'll teach you other stuff! She's my kid, my spectrum kid, and knows she's very behind. But inside...she's tall! She's got adventures in the making. She's going places!
If we ever get around to official video modelling it will still be beneficial but a different experience. Until then, we continue storybook character modelling. I can't wait to introduce my daughter to Ramona Quimby, Laura Ingalls, Anne of Green Gables- and eventually Jane Eyre. Maybe by then it will be through a read aloud or she reads it herself. Until then she continues to live vicariously through all the children's lit friends she has known thus far and at the same time grown to know herself and her place in this world.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Accepting and Understanding Autism
My husband began to suspect before I did that our daughter may have it. I, being such the experienced teacher that I was ( ha!) thought that all kids acted that way sometimes. Furthermore all kids develop at their own place. Then came the talking issue. She had a vocabulary at age 2 of about 20 or so words. I guess that was not enough. I still did not see my daughter as different from the rest. I was still excusing and going with the "wait and see" approach. Finally we had her "officially evaluated" by a linguistic. She gave us results and stated that she most probably has autism.
Again, I was in denial. I remember the follow up meeting with the language lady. "That's a pretty strong conclusion after just meeting with my daughter for just one hours time." I said.
"I think I am more right than I am wrong." she said. I walked away wanting to prove her wrong. Awhile later we had her evaluated officially by the guru of autism in these parts. This doctor was impressive, knowledgeable, personable, -pretty much the only doctor that could tell me the heartbreaking news "Your daughter has autism."
"Okay, okay," I said with tears "So we'll aim for the Temple Grandin kind"
"Oh," he said "I think her social ceiling could be higher than that - sky is the limit."
I hear these words from him over and over again. In a way, I am encouraged and then there a setbacks and I am reminded- she has autism.
I understand she has autism. But I fight it at times. I observe kids all day long. Considering the humongous size of the spectrum, I am probably on it and you too. When I consider the symptoms which were indicative of my daughter being diagnosed autistic, I often think of the number of times of I have seen the same symptoms in the typical child. Consider :
Eye contact- I know that a principal I had for many years, once told me to make better eye contact with my classroom parents. I notice my students look off into the distance whenever they are speaking to me. And how many times did your mother say to you- Please look at them and say "hello".
Sensory needs- In this day in age there is so much at us. Lights, action, noises, all at speed faster than light. It's no wonder we need our nature music - you know the kind you might hear in a massage parlor. I see kids each day needing to touch, move, and needing step by step visual direction in order or concentrate and relax.
Socialization and play-these things did not and still do not come naturally for my daughter and with her brother acting as Congressman want to be - it is sometimes a real stick out for her. Yet, is is the complaint of many teachers and parents, that kids need to play and need play practice. Because it does not come naturally anymore. They know the ropes of the video game but they can't invent their own kick the can. Socially, the young child needs to do the same things - say hello using a person's name, take turns, follow through with a sequence of play, and carry on an actual conversation related to the play scheme.
But the reality is my daughter is not typical. She is out of the box. More so than others I guess. Because there is no normal out there is there? If there is than what is normal? For me as a mom of a not so typical child, life goes from "pretty smooth and count my blessings" to "couldn't I just go the zoo and have a good time without a child crawling up my legs or see the Nutcracker all the way through without a girl on my lap plugging her ears or walk into Lowes without dragging a heavy weight into the store or be able to go to the car wash with her in the car because I just need to get it done... ? For me we go to therapy to learn how to process and control sensory input, carry on a relevant conversation, use connected language, play, and move safely and meaningfully in this world. For me, I story all the time- about things I would care NOT to story about. For me I coach on the sidelines of play all the time. For me my food bible is Jessica Seinfeld. ( and that is a huge surprise for me- I wanted my kids eating Armenian and Greek food by now)
The acceptance and understanding is that with God all things will work out for good and all things are possible. (A little paraphrase from Romans and Matthew) She has autism. With that come all the predictions and what ifs. Accepting is not easy because I am still learning to understand. Life of three steps forward and one step back. A lesson learned. A challenge before me. Autism. A life of understanding it and accepting it all in one day.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Now I understand
My memory recalls this day at Elementary school as a sunny day. It was early spring and we were picking dandelions at recess. A bunch of us girls were pretending we were at a wedding and each one of us was a flower girl. Along came a boy who I will call Bobby. He walked funny, talked funny, and pretty much was the social outcast. I don't remember that he had a friend in the world. We as girls were afraid of him. He was unpredictable. This day was the day we decided to conquer our fear I guess. Bobby approached us making kissing noises and said "What do we have here- lovely little girls." He came closer making kissing noises and we screamed. Then one threw dandelions at him. Others joined in. He fell to the ground. One even smooshed the yellow from the dandelion on his face. He was helpless. It was a memory that haunts me because it was one of the times (and there were others too I, being a sinner, ) where I was in on treating someone with cruelty. After some time of this, his dad, who lived in the school's backyard, came up and shouted at us. "Stop that you girls". He picked Bobby up from the ground. Bobby hugged his dad and they walked away. The girls and I stood in silence. I don't know what others were thinking. But I knew that he just wanted friends like the rest of us.
Bobby had struggles making friends. He was the first quirky boy that no one knew what do to with. The teachers sometimes took his quirkiness for misbehavior. He had no social graces that we all just happened to know. He was a puzzle to many.
Fast forward and I am teaching a first grade class. There is a girl in my class similar to Bobby from way back. She is also very dramatic, energetic, and crushed when something wasn't like it routinely should be. I will call her Rose. Rose was new to our school. She loved learning and was essentially very smart. Her mother was kind and nurturing. Her dad was stern and cold on the outside but underneath the prickles he was very loving and nurturing as well. No one really labeled or diagnosed her - at least I was not aware. I remember feeling impatient with her and even struggling to "like" her at times. My inexperience was not helping her situation. I did make her Goldilocks in our class play and she enjoyed it. I did read books with her one on one. I did reward her for accomplishments. But that seems like small potatoes now.
I have a teacher friend who was close enough to me to sing at my wedding and be with me in the ER to see the heart beat and first ultrasound of my first child because my husband was away. She has a son with autism. For years, when we taught together, she told me stories of struggle and trial and joy and success and starting all over with that again as her son grew up. I listened and did my best to encourage.
Autism was something I knew about only really through my friend. Little did everyone else know about it. Except the experts who were mostly in my mind, parents of those with autism. But more and more of the unusual type were becoming common. Now I hear a statistic that one in 88 have autism.
Now, it all comes together. All those children who were not in the square that I knew of in childhood and as my own students, likely had autism. I was on the outside of that world looking in and wondering. Now, I am on the inside. where my own child has autism. My first child, a girl, and born when I was two years shy of 40. I have a child who could one day be the dandelion victim - but won't be if I can help. I have the child who would gladly star in Goldilocks and the Three Bears. I have a child who has sensory issues, meltdowns, social quirks, and language work to do. My child is not typical.
Bobby, now I understand that you were still learning to interact socially with others in appropriate ways. You needed support and help not isolation and ridicule. Rose, now I understand that you needed the security of the same thing all the time even if it meant me feeling like a Robot. Friend, now I understand your tears when your son was struggling or hit a wall and your rejoicing at the victories he made. Now I understand, more of what I need to do to help my daughter, whom I have high hopes for despite this thing called autism which I am just beginning to now understand.
Bobby had struggles making friends. He was the first quirky boy that no one knew what do to with. The teachers sometimes took his quirkiness for misbehavior. He had no social graces that we all just happened to know. He was a puzzle to many.
Fast forward and I am teaching a first grade class. There is a girl in my class similar to Bobby from way back. She is also very dramatic, energetic, and crushed when something wasn't like it routinely should be. I will call her Rose. Rose was new to our school. She loved learning and was essentially very smart. Her mother was kind and nurturing. Her dad was stern and cold on the outside but underneath the prickles he was very loving and nurturing as well. No one really labeled or diagnosed her - at least I was not aware. I remember feeling impatient with her and even struggling to "like" her at times. My inexperience was not helping her situation. I did make her Goldilocks in our class play and she enjoyed it. I did read books with her one on one. I did reward her for accomplishments. But that seems like small potatoes now.
I have a teacher friend who was close enough to me to sing at my wedding and be with me in the ER to see the heart beat and first ultrasound of my first child because my husband was away. She has a son with autism. For years, when we taught together, she told me stories of struggle and trial and joy and success and starting all over with that again as her son grew up. I listened and did my best to encourage.
Autism was something I knew about only really through my friend. Little did everyone else know about it. Except the experts who were mostly in my mind, parents of those with autism. But more and more of the unusual type were becoming common. Now I hear a statistic that one in 88 have autism.
Now, it all comes together. All those children who were not in the square that I knew of in childhood and as my own students, likely had autism. I was on the outside of that world looking in and wondering. Now, I am on the inside. where my own child has autism. My first child, a girl, and born when I was two years shy of 40. I have a child who could one day be the dandelion victim - but won't be if I can help. I have the child who would gladly star in Goldilocks and the Three Bears. I have a child who has sensory issues, meltdowns, social quirks, and language work to do. My child is not typical.
Bobby, now I understand that you were still learning to interact socially with others in appropriate ways. You needed support and help not isolation and ridicule. Rose, now I understand that you needed the security of the same thing all the time even if it meant me feeling like a Robot. Friend, now I understand your tears when your son was struggling or hit a wall and your rejoicing at the victories he made. Now I understand, more of what I need to do to help my daughter, whom I have high hopes for despite this thing called autism which I am just beginning to now understand.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Reflections on Writing for Children
When I was as young as six or seven years old, I would go into my room, lie on a pink fluffy rug, and with pens and pencils and stacks of paper in hand, I would write the greatest children's story ever written. I wrote poems, about the color pink, adventures of a girl who discovered a world behind a bookcase, toys that talked, and a little family called the Tootles. I would spend hours writing. I loved every minute of it. Time stood still as I was not aware of it. I had literally climbed into another world. The stories I invented after experiencing and loving other stories, brought me to a wonderful place of goodness, creativity, and fun. Time was only interrupted when my two "charming" brothers as they liked to call themselves, would barge in grab my work of art from my hand and make fun of my writing. Little did I know that was what the real world of being published would be like.
I moved from that to third grade creative writing class. Where Mrs. B had the best writing topics for us each Wednesday. I still have those stories. They are yellow and need to be in sheet protectors. But Mrs. B's red pen comments say things like - very nice description or Very good writing. Her positive endorsement was a true sign that I was going to be a writer someday.
My first "ready for submission" story was written back in college. It was called One, Two, Three, Bread Magic. Some of you readers out there have read it. All the labor of the "first edition" was so enjoyable. Seeking out a publisher wasn't so much. Having someone from my critique group rip it to shreds wasn't so much either. Since then I have hidden in a world several times where I felt freedom to write from my schema. I have to admit the stories got much better since the Bread Magic One.
Just as I am known as teacher, mom and wife, I also like to be known as writer of childern's stories. Yet I am not published. I have made submissions to several publishers. But I have several rejections. Not as many as Madeline L'Engle- who said she had been rejected at least 50 times before her award winning Wrinkle in Time was published or accepted into the reading world. I am near halfway there in my collection of rejections.
The world is changing and I am ever so mindful of it. The media influence, the fast pace, the sensory overload, the lack of play and imagination, all influence my thinking of what would kinds of stories would be likable to a child. Would a reader in third grade read my TV Bug and learn a lesson? Would a first grade think my Custodian and the Ducklings was funny? Would someone cry or feel a heart tug when they read Grandmother's Melody? I want to hope so but my qualm is that these kinds of stories are dear only those in the Dinosaur Circle.
Dinosaurs are not just those who feel so ancient because they can remember back when dirt was invented and how they used to wear fig leaves. They are those that feel in the minority almost to the point of being endangered. In a writer's circle it is those who just appreciate a rich story told. I do feel a part of this dinosaur circle when it comes to writing for children. I tend to take time to go "deep" when I write, Let my heart ache a little, and labor. The words flow but I get stuck. So it is easy but hard. I want to tell the story just right. Its gotta be rich with words not fluffy and trite. Getting a good story out there in the world - on paper, does have it satisfaction. It's like a captured memory forever there. If someone else could be touched in some way by the story that too is satisfying. The recognition through publication would be an added bonus. But also the idea that many could appreciate it would be an accomplishment simply for making some difference in this troublesome world.
I won't put myself in the shoes of a children's literature critic and analyze the low quality of some recently published stories. But it is extremely frustrating that the books that sell are those that have a gimmick attached. The kind that go with a movie, a television show, rock song, a toy,- a book that says to the child- gimme that one as they go through the phase of princesses or Transformers. And those gimmick stories do not last the test of time. The next year there is a new trend and a new kind of gimme. There's also the stories written by celebrities. You don't have to be a writer to be published if you are a celebrity. Some of those stories seem "cute" and even heart warming. But well written and quality? A memorable story that stays with you forever? Maybe if it was personally autographed.
I do weigh my stories against those I admire. Oh the richness of stories like Chrysantheum or anything Kevin Henkes. Thundercake or Fireflies in jar or anything Patricia Pollaco. A true story teller that woman! What about Jenelle Cannon who makes the ugly things of this world so beautiful with her rich language. Stellaluna- Crickwig- Verde. Oh to be accepted and remembered as they are!
There are classics that I remember as read aloud experiences that have influenced me as I longed to write. Sylvester and the Magic Pebble, Bread and Jam for Frances, Harry the Dirty Dog, One Fine Day, The Little Engine that Could. - are some. This is my world of story that I draw from in order to write.
And as a teacher, I need those good mentor texts. I want my work to be just that. One that could be a good example of some trait of writing that needs to be taught. One that can be used to teach a great reading strategy and aide in comprehension. I want my story to be needed in the learning and development in the child's reading and writing. Debbie Miller, a reading guru, and Katie Wood Ray, a teaching writing to children guru, both say how important it is for us as teachers to introduce the kids to quality literature. Our validation speaks well and has an influence. Pretty much if my work was endorsed by either of those - I could be all set with my dream.
It has been awhile since I have sat down and actually written a new story. It may be about time. I will get to it when I do have the time. But what to do with all the others that have been written and are sitting, resting, and collecting dust.
Thanks for reading this writing.
I moved from that to third grade creative writing class. Where Mrs. B had the best writing topics for us each Wednesday. I still have those stories. They are yellow and need to be in sheet protectors. But Mrs. B's red pen comments say things like - very nice description or Very good writing. Her positive endorsement was a true sign that I was going to be a writer someday.
My first "ready for submission" story was written back in college. It was called One, Two, Three, Bread Magic. Some of you readers out there have read it. All the labor of the "first edition" was so enjoyable. Seeking out a publisher wasn't so much. Having someone from my critique group rip it to shreds wasn't so much either. Since then I have hidden in a world several times where I felt freedom to write from my schema. I have to admit the stories got much better since the Bread Magic One.
Just as I am known as teacher, mom and wife, I also like to be known as writer of childern's stories. Yet I am not published. I have made submissions to several publishers. But I have several rejections. Not as many as Madeline L'Engle- who said she had been rejected at least 50 times before her award winning Wrinkle in Time was published or accepted into the reading world. I am near halfway there in my collection of rejections.
The world is changing and I am ever so mindful of it. The media influence, the fast pace, the sensory overload, the lack of play and imagination, all influence my thinking of what would kinds of stories would be likable to a child. Would a reader in third grade read my TV Bug and learn a lesson? Would a first grade think my Custodian and the Ducklings was funny? Would someone cry or feel a heart tug when they read Grandmother's Melody? I want to hope so but my qualm is that these kinds of stories are dear only those in the Dinosaur Circle.
Dinosaurs are not just those who feel so ancient because they can remember back when dirt was invented and how they used to wear fig leaves. They are those that feel in the minority almost to the point of being endangered. In a writer's circle it is those who just appreciate a rich story told. I do feel a part of this dinosaur circle when it comes to writing for children. I tend to take time to go "deep" when I write, Let my heart ache a little, and labor. The words flow but I get stuck. So it is easy but hard. I want to tell the story just right. Its gotta be rich with words not fluffy and trite. Getting a good story out there in the world - on paper, does have it satisfaction. It's like a captured memory forever there. If someone else could be touched in some way by the story that too is satisfying. The recognition through publication would be an added bonus. But also the idea that many could appreciate it would be an accomplishment simply for making some difference in this troublesome world.
I won't put myself in the shoes of a children's literature critic and analyze the low quality of some recently published stories. But it is extremely frustrating that the books that sell are those that have a gimmick attached. The kind that go with a movie, a television show, rock song, a toy,- a book that says to the child- gimme that one as they go through the phase of princesses or Transformers. And those gimmick stories do not last the test of time. The next year there is a new trend and a new kind of gimme. There's also the stories written by celebrities. You don't have to be a writer to be published if you are a celebrity. Some of those stories seem "cute" and even heart warming. But well written and quality? A memorable story that stays with you forever? Maybe if it was personally autographed.
I do weigh my stories against those I admire. Oh the richness of stories like Chrysantheum or anything Kevin Henkes. Thundercake or Fireflies in jar or anything Patricia Pollaco. A true story teller that woman! What about Jenelle Cannon who makes the ugly things of this world so beautiful with her rich language. Stellaluna- Crickwig- Verde. Oh to be accepted and remembered as they are!
There are classics that I remember as read aloud experiences that have influenced me as I longed to write. Sylvester and the Magic Pebble, Bread and Jam for Frances, Harry the Dirty Dog, One Fine Day, The Little Engine that Could. - are some. This is my world of story that I draw from in order to write.
And as a teacher, I need those good mentor texts. I want my work to be just that. One that could be a good example of some trait of writing that needs to be taught. One that can be used to teach a great reading strategy and aide in comprehension. I want my story to be needed in the learning and development in the child's reading and writing. Debbie Miller, a reading guru, and Katie Wood Ray, a teaching writing to children guru, both say how important it is for us as teachers to introduce the kids to quality literature. Our validation speaks well and has an influence. Pretty much if my work was endorsed by either of those - I could be all set with my dream.
It has been awhile since I have sat down and actually written a new story. It may be about time. I will get to it when I do have the time. But what to do with all the others that have been written and are sitting, resting, and collecting dust.
Thanks for reading this writing.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Early Childhood Report Card
It is come to the time where I as a teacher must complete twenty report cards. I have never been at a loss for words to provide my insight into a child's progress. There is so much personality and development going on in these early years. At this time I am struck by the remarkable way kids grow and change.
Before I complete one card on one of my students. I will vent by writing my own report of the progress of Early Childhood. Currently how are we as parents, teachers, friends, family, doing to support the Early Child? Do we allow them to be kids? Are they confident as they "grow up? Are we applying Developmentally Appropriate Practices that is learning opportunities that match the development of the child?
Here are a few prefaces. First, I am not an Early Childhood Specialist. I don't even have a degree in Early Childhood. What's more I have only been a mom for nearly six years. I am no doctor either. My experience- mainly just teaching kids mainly in those Early childhood years. I won't even bore readers with theories of Piaget or Erickson. I shall simply give my two cents.
One more preface. I write and offer my opinion. Many I know will totally disagree with me. I appologize for striking a bad cord.
Currently our school report card has various benchmarks in the various subject areas. My benchmark areas for the Early Childhood Report Card are Social, Emotional, Cognitive, Fine Motor, and Gross Motor Development. I am considering the practices of today and do they help develop a confident child in these areas? Every area counts. Not one more important over the other but all just as equally important in a child's development.
Social Development: I give us a D or a rating of experiencing difficulty. Yeah, we allow our kids to socialize. The practice has been that it starts with play dates but all too quickly it evolves into activities such as dance, karate, soccer, chess, basketball, mad science, hockey- I am sure there are several others to add to the list. When I was younger- age 6 or so, I was in Busy Bees. We met at a neighborhood house and did various projects- similiar to Girl Scouts. One thing that was it. Because the rest of the time I was playing libary, school, grocery store, making forts, or making cakes on the Easy Bake Oven with Suzie or Heidi. My play time was sacred and that in itself allowed me to grow socially.
D because the play time is being taken away and there is no time for it because there is a schedule of activities to meet. At soccer and dance, you socialize and have fun. And when you are home - you are too tired to have a round of marbles or kick the can, so you are off to the Wii or whatever it is called. ( We do not own one nor do we intend too) D because playtime should be the main part of the Early Child's life not a supplement or an after thought.
Emotional Development: This area gets a rating of C-. The self assurance and character of a child depends much on their emotional state.This is ignored. We push ahead or forward without considering the state of the child's emotions and their ability to handle certain situations. These days situations happen earlier than later. Ear piercing begins not at 16 when I had mine done but as early as infancy. OUCH! Okay maybe for some its a cultural thing.
Peer pressure comes immediately to mind not just can they deal with someone daring them to jump off the top of a slide on the playground either. The next thing that comes to mind is tears, tantrums, and meltdowns. This ranges from what happens if their ice cream cone top falls and melts to what happens if they get laughed at for wearing clothes that clash. But also can they handle a spelling test in first grade? How about leaving you- the parent for a bus ride to school for the whole entire day and then coming back on the bus? My Thanks to Miss Terry who found me asleep on the bus upon coming home from school one day and missed my bus stop for home - maybe I was in first grade??? No Thanks to my older Brother who was supposed to look out for me when he got off the bus. Or How about can the child handle not getting their way, or taking turns, or things not going just right?
We all too easily think our kids can handle something that they are just not ready to handle. Therefore, no spiderman for my almost four year old. He is too sensitive. He can't decipher yet what is real or imaginary. ( And the way movies are these days- I don't think I can handle it without turning every light on in the house after watching....)
Therefore, no painting plates at the mudroom for my daughter. Too dainty and meticulous. At five, it's not about being dainty- it is about being dramatic and exploratory.
C- because on average I think we provide some experiences too soon they have had a chance to grow more secure in themselves.
Motor skills: We do allow for physical activity for developing gross motor skills. I mean there is a lot of karate and hockey playing and football going on. Those structured activities do provide some good development. But I give the gross motor a B- because we need to pay attention to the build and size of their bodies. We need to provide the exercise that they can handle to develop gross motor wise. Let them run, climb, skip, hop, swing, etc. Then when they weigh 50-60 pounds and can handle all of that and be tackled- okay- football it is! Exercise kind of play much needed over the structured sports in the early child.
Fine motor wise- Does the working of an I-pad or WII remote control count? How many of us have our kids do the old fashioned cutting, gluing, or sewing card? I am a little stumped on this one as far as a grade.. I do think kids would be better fine motor wise if they colored, drew, wrote, scissor cut, sewed, knitted, whatever -more than operating a remote control whatever. Tough in these day of the Jetsons to actually make our fingers work.
Cognitive: I could get on a real soap box here. If I really spilled the beans on my thoughts, I may have to go into the witness protection program. I would not give our practice an A. Maybe another B minus. Some of this is not our fault. Curriculum has been pushed down and we are forced to teach things that are not right for the age we teach. Yet it is our fault when we expect something over the head of the young child. It is our fault when we forget - hey they are just kids right now. It is important to weigh activities as appropriate or not. Worksheet or drama center? Play dough or color by number? Singing or Sentence Dictation. Spider in the Web or Tackle Football? Reading groups or just lets look at books right now? Two digit addition or working with higher sets of manipulatives?
All and all we aren't doing too well in our Developmentally Appropriate Practices. I know I have room for improvement. In this fast society there is a hurry up mentality. Hurry up and Grow! Suggestions are to take one day at a time with our children. We shouldn't be afraid to use the phrase- you need to wait until you are older. "
My son has been very interested in jungles lately. All the animal life in the jungle is especially interesting to him. He asked one day- "Can we visit the jungle sometime?'
I said "yes, when you are older."
He understood why. I happened to have visited the jungle for the first time at age 36- when I was really grown up and ready. I even went zip lining. Not sure I would do it again. I think I actually prayed I would make it out alive. The jungle was sure adventurous. We even saw the fresh footprint of a jaguar. It was a jungle! The real thing. Our son is counting the days until he can go to the jungle. But at four years old- He must wait until he is older.
Much like this world- it is a jungle out there- give it time for them to grow and develop- decide what they can or can't handle. Age appropriate activities are so key!
We cannot afford to lose their childhood. If we take that away from them by giving them experiences too soon or opportunities that are not age appropriate then, we are ridding them of crucial learning to be more confident, creative, and independent.
Thanks for reading!
Before I complete one card on one of my students. I will vent by writing my own report of the progress of Early Childhood. Currently how are we as parents, teachers, friends, family, doing to support the Early Child? Do we allow them to be kids? Are they confident as they "grow up? Are we applying Developmentally Appropriate Practices that is learning opportunities that match the development of the child?
Here are a few prefaces. First, I am not an Early Childhood Specialist. I don't even have a degree in Early Childhood. What's more I have only been a mom for nearly six years. I am no doctor either. My experience- mainly just teaching kids mainly in those Early childhood years. I won't even bore readers with theories of Piaget or Erickson. I shall simply give my two cents.
One more preface. I write and offer my opinion. Many I know will totally disagree with me. I appologize for striking a bad cord.
Currently our school report card has various benchmarks in the various subject areas. My benchmark areas for the Early Childhood Report Card are Social, Emotional, Cognitive, Fine Motor, and Gross Motor Development. I am considering the practices of today and do they help develop a confident child in these areas? Every area counts. Not one more important over the other but all just as equally important in a child's development.
Social Development: I give us a D or a rating of experiencing difficulty. Yeah, we allow our kids to socialize. The practice has been that it starts with play dates but all too quickly it evolves into activities such as dance, karate, soccer, chess, basketball, mad science, hockey- I am sure there are several others to add to the list. When I was younger- age 6 or so, I was in Busy Bees. We met at a neighborhood house and did various projects- similiar to Girl Scouts. One thing that was it. Because the rest of the time I was playing libary, school, grocery store, making forts, or making cakes on the Easy Bake Oven with Suzie or Heidi. My play time was sacred and that in itself allowed me to grow socially.
D because the play time is being taken away and there is no time for it because there is a schedule of activities to meet. At soccer and dance, you socialize and have fun. And when you are home - you are too tired to have a round of marbles or kick the can, so you are off to the Wii or whatever it is called. ( We do not own one nor do we intend too) D because playtime should be the main part of the Early Child's life not a supplement or an after thought.
Emotional Development: This area gets a rating of C-. The self assurance and character of a child depends much on their emotional state.This is ignored. We push ahead or forward without considering the state of the child's emotions and their ability to handle certain situations. These days situations happen earlier than later. Ear piercing begins not at 16 when I had mine done but as early as infancy. OUCH! Okay maybe for some its a cultural thing.
Peer pressure comes immediately to mind not just can they deal with someone daring them to jump off the top of a slide on the playground either. The next thing that comes to mind is tears, tantrums, and meltdowns. This ranges from what happens if their ice cream cone top falls and melts to what happens if they get laughed at for wearing clothes that clash. But also can they handle a spelling test in first grade? How about leaving you- the parent for a bus ride to school for the whole entire day and then coming back on the bus? My Thanks to Miss Terry who found me asleep on the bus upon coming home from school one day and missed my bus stop for home - maybe I was in first grade??? No Thanks to my older Brother who was supposed to look out for me when he got off the bus. Or How about can the child handle not getting their way, or taking turns, or things not going just right?
We all too easily think our kids can handle something that they are just not ready to handle. Therefore, no spiderman for my almost four year old. He is too sensitive. He can't decipher yet what is real or imaginary. ( And the way movies are these days- I don't think I can handle it without turning every light on in the house after watching....)
Therefore, no painting plates at the mudroom for my daughter. Too dainty and meticulous. At five, it's not about being dainty- it is about being dramatic and exploratory.
C- because on average I think we provide some experiences too soon they have had a chance to grow more secure in themselves.
Motor skills: We do allow for physical activity for developing gross motor skills. I mean there is a lot of karate and hockey playing and football going on. Those structured activities do provide some good development. But I give the gross motor a B- because we need to pay attention to the build and size of their bodies. We need to provide the exercise that they can handle to develop gross motor wise. Let them run, climb, skip, hop, swing, etc. Then when they weigh 50-60 pounds and can handle all of that and be tackled- okay- football it is! Exercise kind of play much needed over the structured sports in the early child.
Fine motor wise- Does the working of an I-pad or WII remote control count? How many of us have our kids do the old fashioned cutting, gluing, or sewing card? I am a little stumped on this one as far as a grade.. I do think kids would be better fine motor wise if they colored, drew, wrote, scissor cut, sewed, knitted, whatever -more than operating a remote control whatever. Tough in these day of the Jetsons to actually make our fingers work.
Cognitive: I could get on a real soap box here. If I really spilled the beans on my thoughts, I may have to go into the witness protection program. I would not give our practice an A. Maybe another B minus. Some of this is not our fault. Curriculum has been pushed down and we are forced to teach things that are not right for the age we teach. Yet it is our fault when we expect something over the head of the young child. It is our fault when we forget - hey they are just kids right now. It is important to weigh activities as appropriate or not. Worksheet or drama center? Play dough or color by number? Singing or Sentence Dictation. Spider in the Web or Tackle Football? Reading groups or just lets look at books right now? Two digit addition or working with higher sets of manipulatives?
All and all we aren't doing too well in our Developmentally Appropriate Practices. I know I have room for improvement. In this fast society there is a hurry up mentality. Hurry up and Grow! Suggestions are to take one day at a time with our children. We shouldn't be afraid to use the phrase- you need to wait until you are older. "
My son has been very interested in jungles lately. All the animal life in the jungle is especially interesting to him. He asked one day- "Can we visit the jungle sometime?'
I said "yes, when you are older."
He understood why. I happened to have visited the jungle for the first time at age 36- when I was really grown up and ready. I even went zip lining. Not sure I would do it again. I think I actually prayed I would make it out alive. The jungle was sure adventurous. We even saw the fresh footprint of a jaguar. It was a jungle! The real thing. Our son is counting the days until he can go to the jungle. But at four years old- He must wait until he is older.
Much like this world- it is a jungle out there- give it time for them to grow and develop- decide what they can or can't handle. Age appropriate activities are so key!
We cannot afford to lose their childhood. If we take that away from them by giving them experiences too soon or opportunities that are not age appropriate then, we are ridding them of crucial learning to be more confident, creative, and independent.
Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Christmas rush to Christmas hush- Mary and pondering
All the events leading and during the time of Christ's birth were both exciting, troublesome, and horrific. Heaven opened up and sent God's son. There were angels filling the sky and appearing personally to Joseph, Mary, and the Shepherds. There was an amazing star. There were three wise men bringing very expensive gifts to the Christ Child. There were a herd of shepherds who wanted to see. The stable was crowded and stinky and animals were all around. Some say the animals may have talked that night. The bothersome journey to Bethlehem was long and hard especially with a pregnant woman.A jealous King Herod murdered all babies two years and under to eliminate the threat of the King of Kings . All a part of God's plan of how things should be for the coming of a Savior.
Mary had her hush when she treasured up all of these things and pondered them in her heart. It says this twice in Luke. The first one is after the shepherded told people and they were in shear wonderment. Mary treasured these events up and pondered them in her heart. It doesn't say she went and told her best girlfriend. It says she pondered and treasured. The second time it says just about the very same phrase it is after Jesus, as a boy went into the temple to teach and his parents could not find Him. This part is not easily remembered, but Mary again, treasured up these things and pondered them in her heart.
As the earthly Mother of Jesus, perhaps she was writing things down after meditating on them. Perhaps gave Luke some hints as to how to record all of these things so that others even in 2012 might believe. She took time for the hush. The pause and the time of reflection on all that had happened and what it all meant for the world was important.
My real hush comes now the day after Christmas Day. I don't have to really get up and do something out of necessity. There is no deadline or schedule today. I did much forging and creating and just plain work over the past month all for Christmas. I enjoyed it but lost sleep. I have some few hushes and pauses here and there to help slow time down and try to get something new and meaningful out of THIS Christmas. But the activities and even sometimes the "fun" of Christmas diminishes the hush and makes time speed on until next Christmas where you start all over again. So my hush was delayed until now.
During my ponderment I realized, miracles happened this Christmas. Miracles consisting of new developments in my children that I thought would never happen. The miracle of being in a neighborhood where kids all wanted to partake of a small celebration of the Christ child in the woods. Miracles of a realizing the Savior that was born was born to me. Miracles that this message IS slowly being passed on to my children. It IS sinking in.
During my ponderment, lessons were learned. I realize through the rush that I have no control over time. I can't stop it or even pause it . Yet, I can use my time better so that time is more meaningful making it possibly less rushed. I have taken more time to write and hope to do more. Simply because it helps slow time for me and deepens my pondering time.
I have pondered over and over again the need for a Savior. Come Lord Jesus come! Murdering, a straying away from our faith, a country crumbling, sickness, such a laundry list of sins in this world. Come Lord Jesus come!
So in these last days of this year, I strive for more hush. It seems to me that in these times of pause and meditation on Him that He whispers to us and works in us to move forward more carefully and in a pondering state.
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